Why Spiritual Tradition Is Important To Me

In 1997, I took a Level 1 Reiki class in LaCrosse, WI. In 1999, I took Level 2. I did not go for Master Level.

The things that I was taught were EXTREMELY IMPORTANT about Reiki was as follows:

• The symbols are never to be depicted on paper or in any visual method, if they are drawn, they must be burned. 
• The most important thing is to honor your lineage. You should be able to trace yourself back to Mikao Usui (basically your master was initiated by ___, who was initiated by ___... and so on). If you can't do this, then you can't be sure you've been attuned properly are are not offering the minimal respect which the energy deserves. (I can trace my lineage: Me -> CN Rodgers -> Michael Hartley -> Phyllis Furumoto -> Hawayo Takata -> Chujiro Hayashi -> Mikao Usui)
• Master level involved living with a Reiki Master for something like a year

The things that I am finding in the 21st Century

• Books are publishing the Reiki symbols
• It's trendy to get them tattooed (this horrifies me)
• People don't know jack about their lineage
• You can become a master in one day!

Now... I believe that ANY path a person is led to, they are led towards that path for a purpose and it is right and good for them. I also believe that when you participate in a tradition, a ritual, or anything that has some type of history with it, it is a show of basic respect to adhere to the tradition as it has been laid out. Example: I went to a solstice drum jam last December. It was based upon Siberian Shamanism. We were blessed by the Reindeer Goddess. It was pretty awesome. Do I actually believe that I was blessed by a Reindeer Goddess? No, but I felt blessed and like a beautiful child of the universe, and if I was ever to participate in that tradition, I would participate with full adherence to the tradition. Tradition is important. It generates an energy of its own. 

I haven't made a secret of the fact that presently I am feeling drawn to Odin The All-Father. My actual belief is that God Is Really Big, I Mean, We Are Impressed Down Here, Let Me Tell You. So very very big that there is room for all interpretations. Spirituality is like a fingerprint. I can no more tell you how to perceive The Universe or All That Is, than you can tell me how to perceive it. I categorically reject most Judeo/Christian interpretations as not being relevant to me - but if I am in a situation to where I am in a church participating in some sort of thing, I am respectful of the thing and I don't bitch about it. I feel a very Pagan type of spiritual connection in my blood right now, so I roll with it. I have participated in some rituals and events. The respect and the honor of the previously established tradition provides a certain continuity of energy that reaches back before my time and reaches forward past my ending. It's a very groovy thing. 

So back to the Reiki thing - am I irritated that people are led to watered down versions of something which I was once a part of? Meh, maybe a little..., but that's my issue and I'm working on it. What really saddens me is that some of the basic tradition has been lost. Once an oral tradition goes by the wayside, it can never come back again. Change is a natural part of existence, but there is something to be said for honoring longstanding traditions. 

Why I'm Not Googling You

I am an expert skip-tracer. I can find any dirt about anyone on the internet. I'm extremely good at it. I do it for work on a fairly regular basis, and if someone finds themselves in some kind of legal peril or suspects someone of criminal activity, I will ALWAYS help.


I do not use this "superpower" in my personal life. I don't search friends, family members, I sure as hell don't search men I'm interested in (downright creepy) - not just because your web presence might not reflect your actual personality, not just because I don't want to judge people based upon what's written about them or based on their past.



There are two reasons why I'm not searching you. 

• I might find something that will hurt me. Criminal background, those furry porn pictures that someone posed you in while you were drunk, your Craigslist listing of a used sex-swing... Okay those last two might make me laugh, but even so. I'm a face to face kind of person (as much as I hurl myself around on Facebook, I really am, and if I want to know you, I'll talk to you. It's that simple.)
• It's addictive. I get an adrenaline rush when I find what I'm looking for. At work when I get asked to find information on someone to support something that the legal department is looking for - when I find that puzzle piece that can quantify everything? I feel like a genius and I do a happy dance in my head. When I find video that proves something? I feel like you feel going down the incline on a good rollercoaster. I don't need to be doing that at home. At all. 

There is one reason why I might go ahead and search you.

• If I don't know what happened to you. If it's been years and years, and one day I start thinking of you and wondering, 'I wonder what happened to ____'?

This morning, I was thinking about a woman named Linda, who during the late 90's was kind of a spiritual mentor to me. She helped me a lot just by being on the other end of the phone during a really rough time, though I never actually met her in person. She didn't know I was drinking, but she did help me to feel that it was possible to believe in something outside of myself that was loving and not, at the minimum, laughing behind my back. I knew she had lived in Fergus Falls, so I googled her name and city. I also knew she was ill and had already outlived her diagnosis, so this was not a total surprise. 

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/santafenewmexican/obituary.aspx?n=linda-r-haukos&pid=144839648#fbLoggedOut

Rest in Peace, Linda, you were good.

On "Love Songs"

Most love songs make me want to barf. I remember once seeing an interview with Michael Stipe in which he explained why up til REM did Out of Time, he didn't write love songs. He claimed that they were manipulative, making people aspire to emotions which they didn't actually have - or worse actually think they felt them. Out of Time is the first place in which you see REM producing love songs, however they are a bit on the non-sequitur side, which is kind of why I like them. 

So speaking of segueways, the first in my list of favorite songs about, ah, matters of the heart, is Country Feedback (you thought I would pick Losing My Religion, didn't you. Ha.) Country Feedback is about the absolute psychotic and sad demise of what sounds to have been a fairly long term relationship. Lets say I've been there. Multiple times. But I'm feeling much better now. 

The second in my list is far more hopeful and positive. Thought I'd get the negative out of the way right away. This was one of my favorite songs when I was 14, and it is still one of my favorite songs. It's a very unusual odd song of love by Talking Heads called "This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)." It features such great lines as "out of all those kinds of people, you've got a face with a view."

I realized that this next one was actually a love song when I saw Neil Young do it live. The link I have below is a 27 minute version, lots of guitar. The crux of it though is the chorus "...and with you, I fear no hidden path." That's powerful, and I would very much like to feel that way. You don't have to watch the whole thing. I mean, it's very very long. But if you enjoy Neil playing Old Black and didn't get to see him on this tour, then by all means, that's what the video is there for. T

And now another turn for the weird: One of my favorite songwriters of all time is Robyn Hitchcock. He can be alternately funny and heartbreakingly serious. He has several songs that fit into this category that I find to be particularly awesome, however since I already got the depressing out of the way, I'm settling on Satellite, which includes the line, "I'm into you so far, I'm out the other side." Love it. 

There are probably more... but I suddenly feel the need to listen to some Ministry to cleanse my palate. 

Sappy McSappy Pants

I've been posting a lot of links to songs on Facebook lately that are more on the hardcore side of my personality.

I opened up a browser on my work computer this morning that auto launched what I was looking at yesterday, and it was one of those songs that when I'm really tired kind of makes me all weepy and shit.

So this post is dedicated to songs which impact me on an emotional level... hit below the belt if you will. Ow.

This is not, by any means, a complete list.

Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise by The Avett Brothers. I think the line that gets me is "If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected." I have a deep fear of rejection and of being unloveable, so this gets me where it hurts. It's something that I want to believe.

Dawes - A Little Bit of Everything. Thank The Current for this one, because I don't even have the album. I'm not even exactly sure why this gets to me, I think it's the line at the end of the song: "All these psychics and these doctors/Theyre all right and theyre all wrong,/Its like trying to make out every word,/When they should simply hum along,/Its not some message written in the dark,/Or some truth that no ones seen,/Its a little bit of everything." it kind of encapsulates my world view in a sense. Maybe it makes me a dilettante, I don't care.

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass. If you know me, then this should be obvious. I know it's a fun band and it's a fun song, and they seem to be all about fun, but it still makes me a little bit dewey eyed. I think it's joy. 

Jason Isbell - Dress Blues -  Saved the best for last, because if you don't get emotionally impacted by this, I don't want to talk to you. There is a studio version, but this is the version that kills me. I've seen him do it live. If you only watch one of these, watch this one. 

In Which Cynthia Writes a Poem

I used to write poetry all the time when I was a kid, but I kind of gave it up at some point. I was free associating while listening to music this evening, and below is the result.

********

I remember once
when I used to sleep
and not get up
and dust filled the bed
and it was fine
and good

I remember feeling nothing
nothing
nothing at all
and I remember everything.

Feeling nothing
that hollow feeling
nothing
like a loud quiet
one can only bear it for so long
before falling into madness

I remember once
or twice
when I used to sleep
only when the chemicals had taken hold

I remember once
a long long time ago
sleeping on a hard wood floor
and dreaming of nobody in particular
no time for hangovers
time to make the donuts

I remember once
waking up
next to someone
who didn't return my affection
it was awkward
fortunately he was a heavy sleeper

I remember once
when I used to sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and have dreams of twisted corridors
with no possibility of end

I remember waking up
and I never want to sleep again.

I Just Like To See It Live

I love live music. There, I said it and I'm glad. I love live music a lot more than just sitting down and listening to it. What I listen to while I'm running, for example, is not what I'd go see live.

I have been to two Ozzfests, both involved a surprise for me since I was basically there to see Ozzy (OY! OY! OY!)

The first Ozzfest I went to, I was hanging out by the press area, and BS'ing with this tall bald guy with weird piercings. Didn't know who the hell he was, but he was pretty memorable because of the fang piercings. Later that day, when Disturbed came on stage, I discovered it was David Draiman. That was a hell of a show too.

The second Ozzfest I went to, I went to the restroom during Limp Bizkit (because that's where you should be when Limp Bizkit is playing) then made my way forward after and got to see System of a Down. They were truly incredible. They had passion, heart and soul, and they did a Billy Joel cover. I bought their album and couldn't completely get into it though. (I think Toxicity is a great song though).

I haven't been back to Ozzfest, as I haven't had a ride and haven't run with people who would want to go with me. I'm not unhappy.

Another artist I've seen live twice and bought tickets to see again is Steve Vai. Steve Vai is, all things considered, a genius. He's classically trained and can transcribe rock guitar music. He is amazing to watch. I can't just sit down and listen to his albums (though I can listen to Whispering a Prayer all night long).

I love a good Psychobilly Freakout. I've seen Rev. Horton Heat once. Unfortunately the person I was with was in a contagiously pissy mood and I was not happy with the crowd, but if I could attend with someone who was willing to protect me from falling drunks, I would LOVE to see The Reverend again. Unfortunately, sitting down and listening to him is not quite the same. *le sigh*

I also saw an incredibly good Les Claypool show some years back. (It was at the Quest, that pretty much dates it). I do have a copy of Sailing the Seas of Cheese, but shouldn't everybody?

You May Not Have My Sweat

It is a cultural norm to downplay normal bodily functions in women in mixed company, or even within our own little woman-y company (yes boys, we all get together and talk about tampons, or worse... YOU). I am  actually not going to talk about anything which I find gross, I am talking about sweat.

Woman don't sweat, they glisten. They glow. They ... well ... anything but sweat! That's gross, because we're supposed to look awesome without looking like we're making an effort, right? Women can't be gross and still be women, right?

No.

I earned my sweat, and I'm going to keep it. I work hard and I sweat. I sweat through my clothes. Have you ever had sweat in your eyes? I have. It's painful, but it goes away. I refuse to allow modern culture to take my sweat away from me any more than I will allow a surgeon to tighten the loose skin from my weight loss*. That is mine. It's a badge of honor. It's proof that I won, and you are not invited to airbrush it away.

And while you're at it, go make me some pie.


*that said, not opposed to a good OTC product... just sayin...

An Important Consideration if You Run the Chain of Lakes

Lake of the Isles

I like to run parts or all of run the Chain of Lakes in Minneapolis. The Chain of Lakes (as I experience it) consists of Lake of the Isles, Lake Calhoun, and Lake Harriet. I listed them in order of proximity to my home. Consequently, I tend to run Lake of the Isles the most often and Lake Harriet the least often. 



In spite of the fact that proximity dictates that I should favor Lake of the Isles, this lake is probably the least friendly when it comes to facilities (except for during winter when the warming house is up for the ice rink) - they have one pair of Biffy's (port-o-poddys) and they're usually pretty nasty. Lake Calhoun is a little better, as they have more Biffy's around the lake,and a restaurant with walk in restrooms, which are old and not in the greatest repair, but they do have several water fountains. 


Lake Harriet, the farthest from me, has brand new restroom facilities and a brand new restaurant, which I have yet to try because I tend not to want to eat when I'm in the middle of a run.  

Lake Calhoun

Lake Harriet

Lake Harriet can also boast a top notch water fountain - the newer type with both a place to drink from AND a place to set down your water bottle for a refill... and the water is cold! This may not sound like much but when you are running and need a refill in your water bottle on a hot day, it's golden. 

My understanding is that Lake Harriet's new restaurant is called Bread and Pickle (http://www.breadandpickle.com/). As I said, I have not eaten there, but they are well reviewed and they look pretty snazzy. The facility is clean, and from the look of the website, it's more than just cheeseburgers and soft serve. 

While we're here, I would like to briefly touch on another amenity of the chain of lakes, and that is the reasonably priced canoe/kayak rentals provided by Wheel Fun Rentals (www.wheelfunrentals.com/listlocations/97). One of the great things that I love about Minneapolis is that you can take the city bus to a lake and get on a canoe and see nature. It's one of the magical mystical things about this fair city!