Things I Would Like To Do.... But Won't

Over the years, I have been called many things - some of them have been unkind and downright abusive, but I'm thinking more along the lines of the things I've been called which may have been intended as insults but which I chose to accept with gratitude. I am referring to labels such as: "eccentric" or "weird." Someone with a poor grasp of the English language (non native speaker) said a good nickname for me would be "Zoner" because I lived in the Twilight Zone - granted, I was 11 at the time, but you get the point.

Some of the odder stuff that goes through my head involves things that I would like to do, but most likely never will because of societal norms or because they could get me into some sort of trouble.

• Get a chainsaw and steal a Banksy
• Call a radio station and ask for a Kid Rock song, but forget the title. Tell them: you know, it's that one where he says "my name is Kid?" (This idea happened when he was still popular. I dislike Kid Rock.)
• Go into a Blockbuster and put "Be Kind Rewind" stickers on the DVD's
• Open up a club that specializes in "dress-tease" - you know, where attractive people seductively get dressed on stage! (Tell me that wouldn't turn someone on.)
• Select "Alabama Song" at a Karaoke Bar and change the lyrics to "show me the way to the next sushi bar..." 
• Get scuba gear and sit at the bottom of the pool at the Y for a couple hours. 
• Start wearing a cape... every day. (I have a cape... I might wear it in the Monster Dash, but I haven't decided).
• Sit in the stall of a large public restroom and play the sound file associated with the camera on my phone over and over again while making ... sounds.
• Appear to carry on an intelligent conversation with zoo animals, get irritated when bystanders want me to move so they can see the Tiger
• Les Miserables flash mob in front of the Government Center. (ala: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYizXBQ5EQA )... side note, I just watched that whole thing and need a kleenex now. 
• Take humorous targets to the firing range: printouts of iPhones being my main interest

I'm sure there are more things that I'd like to do but never will... but I can't think of any right now, because I'm contemplating the logistics of that Les Miz flash mob. Would we get arrested? Hmmmmmm.....