I am an expert skip-tracer. I can find any dirt about anyone on the internet. I'm extremely good at it. I do it for work on a fairly regular basis, and if someone finds themselves in some kind of legal peril or suspects someone of criminal activity, I will ALWAYS help.
I do not use this "superpower" in my personal life. I don't search friends, family members, I sure as hell don't search men I'm interested in (downright creepy) - not just because your web presence might not reflect your actual personality, not just because I don't want to judge people based upon what's written about them or based on their past.
There are two reasons why I'm not searching you.
- I might find something that will hurt me. Criminal background, those furry porn pictures that someone posed you in while you were drunk, your Craigslist listing of a used sex-swing... Okay those last two might make me laugh, but even so. I'm a face to face kind of person (as much as I hurl myself around on Facebook, I really am, and if I want to know you, I'll talk to you. It's that simple.)
- It's addictive. I get an adrenaline rush when I find what I'm looking for. At work when I get asked to find information on someone to support something that the legal department is looking for - when I find that puzzle piece that can quantify everything? I feel like a genius and I do a happy dance in my head. When I find video that proves something? I feel like you feel going down the incline on a good rollercoaster. I don't need to be doing that at home. At all.
There is one reason why I might go ahead and search you.
- If I don't know what happened to you. If it's been years and years, and one day I start thinking of you and wondering, 'I wonder what happened to ____'?
This morning, I was thinking about a woman named Linda, who during the late 90's was kind of a spiritual mentor to me. She helped me a lot just by being on the other end of the phone during a really rough time, though I never actually met her in person. She didn't know I was drinking, but she did help me to feel that it was possible to believe in something outside of myself that was loving and not, at the minimum, laughing behind my back. I knew she had lived in Fergus Falls, so I googled her name and city. I also knew she was ill and had already outlived her diagnosis, so this was not a total surprise.
Rest in Peace, Linda, you were good.
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